At times it seems like we barely have enough energy to breathe much less cart kids around town, get everyone fed at a decent time and then get ready for bed. And then your partner turns to you with that look in his eye, and you just can’t find the drive to start the intimacy.

Exhaustion and stress is not the only reason we find we’ve lost our want for sex. Medical issues can happen, and the side effects of medication can keep us from enjoying ourselves intimately. Here you can find some of the best essential oils for sex and increase your libido.

Top 6 Essential Oils to Boost Your Libido

1. Ylang-ylang

This flower has been used for centuries as an aphrodisiac. Its floral scent has been shown to help release stress and uplift mood, a must for anyone feeling too tired to even think about sexual relations with their partner. This oil also decreases blood pressure, a sign of stress, and can increase blood flow to other areas of the body. (1) Ylang ylang has also been used as an anti-depressant, affecting fatigue and helping you get yourself in the mood for intimate contact. (2) This property may also help if you are taking medicine for depression and improve sex drive that is usually dampened by pharmaceuticals.

2. Rose oil

There’s a reason the rose is considered the flower of love and is probably one of the best essential oils for sex. Its scent brings to mind first dates and when you were first beginning a relationship, and the romance was new and energetic. It isn’t just nostalgia but an actual property of the rose oil. It can have an anti-depressant effect and is even helpful for men who have erectile dysfunction caused by medication. (3) Between the nostalgia and mood-lifting power of the rose oil, it’ll certainly put you and your partner in the best frame of mind.

3. Clary Sage

Clary sage is another oil which works to reduce the stress that impairs the desire for sex. Depression is often a culprit when it comes to low libido, and clary sage has been known to lift the mood and even reduce cortisol levels after inhalation. (4) It has also been shown to assist in balancing the hormones that affect libido, in men and women, and has been recommended to positively influence the loss of sex drive which often accompanies menopause. It can also help alleviate other menopausal symptoms and make it less stressful on the body so that the libido can return naturally. (5)

4. Jasmine

An uplifting scent created from flower petals, jasmine has been used in aromatherapy for years. Discovered in India, it has been used for ceremonies and to create ointments for centuries. Its pleasing scent and arousing potential have made it very popular as a perfume marketed to attract sexual partners. (6) Studies have shown that the body’s indicators of arousal, like heart rate and blood pressure, increase with the topical application of jasmine. (7) Participants even reported that they felt more alert and vigorous, with more energy along with their arousal. Jasmine can even be added to green tea for an aromatic drink.

5. Cinnamon

Cinnamon has many health benefits which help with other medical conditions that may be affecting libido and sex drive, especially in men. It has been shown to decrease the side effects of diabetes, such as erectile dysfunction, and increase male hormones. It can also help to lower blood glucose and help fight the nutritional deficiencies that lead to decreased libido. (8) Used in synergy with ginger, it can stimulate blood flow and help combat fatigue and low mood. It can be used as an oil, a supplement as a pill, or even just as an additive to food. (9)

6. Neroli

This oil may be of particular interest to menopausal women who are experiencing a marked decrease in libido due to the decline of hormones in the body or side effects of medication to relieve menopausal symptoms. It is widely used in perfume since it blends well with other oils and scents. As a citrus oil, it already has stimulant properties that can help to increase energy to combat the fatigue brought on by everyday stress. It has been shown to affect perceived sexual desire, even though it did not shift female hormones. (10, 11) This perception also applies to men, who may find their desire increased as well with the use of this oil.

My Experience To Increase Libido with Essential Oils

I’m guilty. I’m one of those people who has overscheduled their lives to the point where I’ve almost forgotten what my husband sounds like most days. And when we are together, both of us are too stressed from the day or too tired from working that sex is the last thing on our minds.

This is not a healthy state to be in. I consider sex and intimacy to be very important to a healthy relationship. It shows a level of trust that I can’t give to other people and that my husband shares with me. Many relationships start to feel the stress when intimacy, not just sex, isn’t part of your connection to each other.

Putting about 5 drops rose oil with 5-10 drops of lavender in the diffuser has helped both of us relax enough, to begin with the little intimacies of touching, kissing, you know, all the teenage stuff you think you’ve grown out of but start to appreciate when it’s gone. I’ve also added lavender to a sweet almond carrier oil for an intimate massage. This is almost always our foreplay. We do this as many nights as we can, planning to go to bed earlier just for this purpose. It doesn’t hurt that the lavender helps us both sleep better, so we’re less stressed and fatigued through the next day.

I’ve also had trouble feeling aroused due to medication. Personally, I find neroli oil to be helpful when I just can’t seem to get on the same page as my husband. I have the want, but I need a little help with the physical side. Neroli’s citrusy scent reminds me mostly of oranges and in turn, the morning when I’m most energetic. Sometimes, just the return of some of my energy is enough to help me feel in the mood and steal away into the bedroom for some afternoon delight.

Precautions on Low Libido

  • Using essential oils to restore arousal and increase libido should also be used with the proper care and caution.
  • Low libido could be the sign of a different, serious medical problem.
  • Increased libido does not necessarily mean improved physical function.
  • Could cause interactions with current medications, especially those prescribed for depression and anxiety
  • Can cause elevated heart rate so persons with heart problems should start with low doses
  • May cause arousal at inappropriate times or times when you are not expecting or prepared
  • May have allergic reactions to oils depending on how they are used (i.e. inhalation, topical application, ingestion)

The Bottom Line

If you’ve been missing your sex drive and intimacy with your partner, trying some of this oils in a diffuser or adding them to a carrier oil for a sensual massage can help reduce the stress of the day or even combat some of the side effects from medication. I hope this list has given you some ideas on how to get back the sexual pleasure in your life. I, for one, am going to continue to make it a priority and having our bedroom filled with the scent of roses certainly doesn’t have a downside to me. Please comment let me know what you think of this list and be sure to share with someone who would like to have more arousal in their lives.